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The Greatest Zoo on Earth
Until recently if you asked me, “Mr. Heaton” (you do not have permission to call me by my Christian name) “What is the best zoo on the entire planet?” I would have responded with, “Why, Little River...
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Roadside Splendor
Route 66 wasn’t just the main artery between Chicago and Los Angeles fifty years ago, it was an American rite of passage in and of itself. American families would shuttle back and forth on the “mother...
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You’re Taking the Zucchinis Either Way
Neighbors were serious business during my formative years. Until I left for college I knew every family in our housing edition; in fact everybody even knew everyone else’s dog’s name. Overall we...
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Beer Prices & Cost of Living Adjustment
As I have detected no correlation whatsoever between living in Washington DC and actually obtaining a job in Washington DC, I decided to extend my holiday visit in Oklahoma by a week. This afforded me...
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Housing Prices & Cost of Living Adjustment
Yesterday I returned to Washington. The cost of everything skyrocketed the moment our plane smacked tarmac, so later tonight I will resume skulking the streets of Georgetown clutching a scalpel and...
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Time Capsule Vacation
Wagoner, Oklahoma is not the Kennebunkport of the Red States, so before I make reference to “our cabin,” kindly divest yourself of any Cape Cod imagery. In fact the term “cabin” should be met with...
View ArticleDan Boren: Outgoing Congressman Lets Loose
[youtube width=”600px” height=”400px”]Bc6haZ_Kd1I[/youtube] My exclusive with Congressman Dan Boren is by far the most fun interview I’ve ever conducted. Running rampant through the halls of Congress...
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“His” and “Her” Tornado Shelters
I hail from Oklahoma, which is Choctaw for “land God sends tornadoes upon in blustery wrath.” This happens every year around May or June, presumably to inflict maximum damage on recently graduated...
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Boston’s Stupid Government
The first thing you should know about Boston is that its State House, the capital of the entire state of Massachusetts, contains a thing called “the Sacred Cod.” The Sacred Cod is a large fish...
View ArticleState of the Week: A Monumental Fight
This week Oklahoma removed a Ten Commandments monument from the lawn of the state capitol. I’ve got nothing against Ten Commandment monuments, but I do have a problem with violating the separation of...
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